Tom
by Hissing Willows
Summary: Abused, neglected, and harassed, all because he isn't understood. Silverpaw has never wanted be a molly, and no matter what his birth clan will do, he refuses accept it. When ShadowClan takes him in and nourishes the mistreated young cat, Silverpaw finally thinks he has found a place where he can be accepted. But ThunderClan is relentless- and they will do anything to get him back.
1. Prologue

**Some warnings before you read: This story deals with ****sexual orientation****, ****gender identity, ****and will does include **_**extremely **_**implied sexual harassment. If any of these are upsetting or triggering to you, read at your own caution.**

**Also: This does not however mean that there will be any explicit sexual things written, but it is very obvious that they have occurred. (Also: A few people have asked me to write lemons in here. That will not happen.)**

**But anyways! I've had an idea for this floating around for some time, and I figured, hell, why not?**

**A lot of this story isn't going to happy. There's gonna be some dark stuff in here folks.**

* * *

Silverkit opened his pale blue eyes and parted his jaws in a tiny yawn. His brother, Hawkkit, was curled up beside him. Silverkit poked his brother in the side with a forepaw. "Hawkkit!"

His brother raised his head, blinking. "What is it? I was asleep, Silverkit!"

Silverkit rolled his pale blue eyes. "Its already way past sun-up! The dawn patrol left _ages_ ago. Lets go outside!"

Hawkkit perked his ears. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I might've missed my opportunity to pester some apprentices!"

Silverkit snorted in amusement. "Alright, then, mouse-brain, lets go!" The slim silver tabby stood and shook out his pelt. Hawkkit rose and stretched, then purred. "I can't believe my little sister always beats me waking up in the morning!"

The silver tabby tom blinked. _Sister? You're wrong!_ "Uh, Hawkkit, I'm not a she-cat. I'm a tom."

His brother tilted his head in confusion. "What? But you- you're sure? I thought you were a she-cat."

Palelight, the kits' mother, looked up from where she had been sleeping. The pale yellow she-cat narrowed her eyes at her kits. "What are you going on about, now?"

Silverkit glanced at his mother. "I was just telling Hawkkit that I'm a tom."

Palelight stared at Silverkit for a moment before bursting out into laughter. "A tom! How ridiculous! Trying to trick your brother, Silverkit? That's a funny joke." She purred in amusement.

The kit blinked. "Um. No. I'm serious, mother. I'm a tom. I don't know why you think I'm making this up."

Palelight narrowed her eyes. "Silverkit, stop this nonsense right this instant. I don't know why you're saying something as silly as you being a tom. You are completely and utterly a she-cat, and you always will be."

"No, _I'm not! _I'm telling you, I'm a_ tom!"_

"Silverkit, I said enough is enough! You're taking this silly game too far!"

Hawkkit finally spoke up. "Silverkit would know if she's a tom! I mean, he. He said he's a tom, so wouldn't he be a tom?"

A tall, broad-shouldered gray tabby tom padded into the nursery. "How are my darling ki- oh, what's wrong?"

Silverkit turned his irritated glare up to his father. "Graywind, mama won't listen to me! She keeps telling me I'm a she-cat, but she's wrong! I'm a tom! Right, father?"

Graywind was silent for a moment, seeming slightly bewildered. "Er... of course, you are, dear." He let out a nervous purr, then glanced at his mate. "How about you two go outside and play? I'm just going to have a chat with your mother." Palelight let out a low growl.

Hawkkit looked between the two mates, then nudged Silverkit. "Yeah, we'd better go. This doesn't look good." He led Silverkit outside the nursery into ThunderClan's camp. Silverkit cast his brother a look of both anger and desperation. "You believe me, right? That I'm a tom?"

His brother let out a small purr and licked his brother's ear. "Of course! I mean, you'd know if you were a tom. I know I'm a tom! So that means you'd have to know if you were a tom! Why would I think you were lying?"

Silverkit let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I just- I don't think Palelight believes me. She's acting all mean about it. I don't get it."

Hawkkit nudged him with his shoulder. "C'mon. Who cares? I believe you, and I'll always be your best friend."

"Always?"

"Always."

* * *

Palelight snarled at her mate in frustration. "Silverkit is _not_ going to be allowed to romp around acting like a tom! It's ridiculous!"

"Look, I don't know why you're so upset about this. Silverkit isn't even a moon old. Maybe Silverkit will change her- or his, or whatever- mind when she gets older. For now, why can't we just indulge her? Its not that much of a big deal, really." Graywind spoke calmly, though he was also extremely confused, he cared enough about his kit to just let Silverkit be a tom.

Palelight, however, was not so accepting of this. "Because, Graywind, Silverkit is a she-cat! Its, its wrong! _She_ can't just decide that she wants to be a tom! If she doesn't want to be a queen she can just be a medicine cat or something!"

Graywind shook his head. "Haven't you seen Silverkit and Hawkkit play? They are both born warriors, always fighting and pretending to hunt. Just let Silverkit-"

"_No!_" She hissed, unsheathing her claws. "I want a perfect son _and_ daughter, not a son and some freak!"

Graywind's eyes sparked. "Silverkit is _not_ a freak!"

"Well, she won't be a tom!"

Graywind narrowed his eyes, hissing. "Do what you want, Palelight. But I will have _two_ sons, while you just push your kits away with your anger." The warrior turned and stormed away, tail lashing.

* * *

**How was the prologue? Next chapter is going to skip ahead to Silverkit's apprentice days.**

**Lolkat123 out~**


	2. Thornslash

**Wow, thanks for all the reviews already! I'm glad so many people like the idea.**

**There's some confusion over Silverkit's birth gender. Silverkit was born a she-cat, in case you were confused ;D**

**FalconstrikeSkC: Really? Wow! I didn't even realize I was making it funny XD! I'm glad you like it so much!**

**A Castle of Glass: Thanks! And yeah, it was a bit short, sorry. I usually unintentionally make the prologues for my stories a bit too short. The actual chapters should end up being longer. And sure, I'll check out your stories! I always like getting recommendations for stories to read while I'm waiting for others to get updated :)**

**Ashheart15: Thanks! Yeah, some people can be jerks about this kinda stuff. I'm prepared to ignore any hate from those kind of people ;)**

**Ergh. I meant to have this posted last night, but the page refreshed or something and I lost half of the chapter ;-;**

**And on to Chapter 1! Hm. Might need to change this to a M rating. I'll leave it for now. Dark stuff, as I warned before.**

* * *

Silverpaw groomed his pelt in a patch of warm sunlight. Life wasn't exactly great for the young apprentice. Very few cats listened when he insisted that he was in fact, a tom. Although, it wasn't doing him any good that he was turning into a beautiful young cat. His silver pelt was soft and sleek, and his eyes were like clear blue pools. His appearance, as well as his feminine voice, suggested that he was a she-cat.

_But I know what I am. Hawkpaw agrees with me. I'm a tom. I am!_

"Is little Silverpaw getting ready for _her_ patrol today?"

Silverpaw raised his gaze to glare at a group of other apprentices. Thornpaw, Wavepaw, Honeypaw, and Hailpaw were absolute nightmares. They always made a special point to call Silverpaw a she-cat, and teased and bullied him whenever they had the opportunity. More than once Silverpaw had awoken with thorns in his nest and burrs stuck in his fur that were always a pain to get out.

On the other hand, Rainpaw, and of course, Hawkpaw were always kind to him. The two toms always stood up for Silverpaw whenever they had the opportunity, but it didn't deter the bullies.

As for the rest of the clan, well, they were mixed. Not everyone was horrible to him, but most often gave him odd looks or glares, and Silverpaw was pretty sure it was no accident that someone was always bumping him to the side when he tried to get some fresh-kill. Well, such was his life in ThunderClan.

"I'm not sure who you're talking to, Wavepaw. The only she-cat I see around here is Honeypaw." Silverpaw retorted, continuing to groom himself.

Thornpaw approached Silverpaw, the other apprentices following closely. "Come on, Silverpaw. Lets go play outside, shall we?" The older, dark brown tom had a strange, dangerous glint in his eye. Wavepaw and Hailpaw were getting closer as well, but Honeypaw looked a bit nervous and muttered, "I'm... gonna go hunt. I'll see you guys later." The golden she-cat slipped away as the three toms continued their approach. Silverpaw tried backing away, but the toms were suddenly all around him, their pelts brushing.

"Come on, Silverpaw." Hailpaw smiled, though it was not pleasant. "You want to be a tom, don't you? Come play a game with us."

"No- I, Stop!" Silverpaw tried protesting, but he felt claws pressing in around him. Muzzles nudged him roughly away, towards the camp entrance. "Now, now, Silverpaw." Thornpaw shoved the silver tabby. "You don't want to do this the hard way, do you?"

"Fine," Silverpaw snarled. "I'll play your stupid game." He pushed past the three toms and stormed out of camp into the forest.

Then, Thornpaw was behind him, and Wavepaw and Hailpaw were on either side. "This way." Hailpaw growled, leading Silverpaw into a thicker part of the forest, away from camp.

Silverpaw felt a feeling of dread. "Where are we going?" He questioned, a sick feeling rising in his gut. _This isn't right... they're up to something!_

They reached a small clearing. Here, the forest was dark, and dense. The toms allowed Silverpaw to pad forward. Then the silver tabby whirled around. "Now, what's this stupid ga-"

Thornpaw smashed into Silverpaw's side. "Now!" He snarled. With smirks, Wavepaw and Hailpaw leaped forward and pinned Silverpaw to the ground, their claws digging into his sides. Thornpaw circled Silverpaw once. "Tsk. We're going to remind you of what you really are. A weak she-cat. I'd love to make you realize what you really are, Silverpaw. I may hate you, but you are quite pretty. Its a shame that you're so stubborn- well, we'll break that resolve, now, won't we?" Hailpaw and Wavepaw both nodded, chuckling darkly.

"What are you going to do to me? Rip me to shreds? Kill me? Go ahead." Silverpaw's voice shook, but he held an icy glare with Thornpaw.

The dark brown tabby surprised him as he drew his tongue over Silverpaw's forehead. "We're going to have fun with you, that's what."

Wavepaw whispered to Silverpaw. "You know, I don't think you're that bad. But if you're going to keep being such a fool, I'm not going to pass up on this opportunity."

Thornpaw slowly padded around until he was behind Silverpaw. "We're going to teach you your lesson, Silverpaw." And then he was pinning Silverpaw to the ground.

* * *

Silverpaw awoke with a shriek, heart racing. Hawkpaw snapped awake beside him. "Silverpaw! Its okay! You're awake!"

Silverpaw took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Ever since that first night, he was haunted by horrid nightmares of the three toms- who were warriors now.

Thornslash, Wavefall, and Hailclaw were all handsome, respected young warriors. Honeyfur, however, had started to avoid the trio ever since that time. They would try and talk to her, from time to time, but she always got nervous and got away as quickly as she could.

_She should be afraid of them. They're monsters._ Silverpaw dug his claws into his nest. Wavefall honestly wasn't quite so horrible; he didn't hurt her anymore like that one night. But... he was always there. _It doesn't make him any less of a horrible creature, but Thornslash is the worst of all. They... they all deserve to die._

"Silverpaw!" Hawkpaw sounded strained. "Look, you need to tell me what's going on with you." The dark brown tabby narrowed his eyes, which were clouded with frustration and worry. Silverpaw turned away. "Nothing. Nothing-"

"No, Silverpaw!" Hawkpaw insisted with a hiss. "You don't talk anymore, and you always wake up from these horrid dreams that you won't talk about, and, and, you just aren't the same! Please, talk to me! You're my brother, and I care about you!"

_You're my brother..._ Those words brought such relief to Silverpaw. It just... fit. The pronoun 'he' just applied to the young silver-tabby, and times like this reminded Silverpaw that he would not give up. Suddenly, Silverpaw snapped his head up, eyes blazing with determination. _They will pay... They will!_

"Silverpaw? Where are you going?" Hawkpaw looked up in confusion.

Silverpaw narrowed his eyes, his claws unsheathing. "There's something I need to do."

Silverpaw quickly left the den, leaving behind his bewildered brother. The silver tabby saw that Thornslash was alone, grooming his dark pelt.

"Thornslash," Silverpaw said quietly, coming closer to the dark tabby. This time, he made no attempt to deepen his voice, and it sounded out softly and feminine. He hated it, oh, how he hated it. But at his was the price of revenge.

The warrior looked up, eyes furrowed in confusion. Silverpaw smiled, and then rubbed his head along Thornslash's jaw. The dark tom stiffened in confusion, but slowly relaxed and without thinking, purred quietly. "Silverpaw...?"

"Oh, Thornslash, I've realized, you've been right all along... I'm such a fool for thinking myself anything but a she-cat." Silverpaw's words made himself want to throw himself off a cliff, but he continued, forcing himself to smile flirtatiously and purr. "All this time, everything you've done to me has been for my own good, hasn't it?"

Silverpaw seemed to be giving Thornslash exactly what he wanted. "Of course," he murmured, gently licking Silverpaw's forehead. "I'm so glad you've finally figured it out."

Silverpaw pressed himself closer, forcing down the urge to to turn and run. "Thornslash," he whispered, his tail twining with the warrior's, "I want to... I want to go back out to the forest with you. But this time, for real. I... I want to." He pressed his nose gently to Thornslash's ear, and he could almost feel the dark tom's will bending to him. He had Thornslash wrapped around his claw.

"You... you do?" Thornslash's lustful golden gaze met Silverpaw's cerulean. Silverpaw noddpurr forcing another purr. Thornslash smiled. "Come on, then."

_He doesn't suspect a thing... it's almost like... he's wanted this from me the entire time._

Thornslash led Silverpaw out of camp, and through the forest the same way that had been traveled too many times, but there was no dark smiles for forceful shoves. His pelt brushed against Silverpaw's gently.

And Silverpaw despised every moment of it. This monster that had used him so many times was too close... too close...

Thornslash stopped them in the all-too-familiar small clearing. He turned to Silverpaw. "Silverpaw..." He whispered, pressing closer, his tongue gently rasping his ear.

"Monster."

In a flash, Silverpaw swiped, slashing his outstretched claws down Thornslash's face. the tom let out a howl of pain and shock. Silverpaw shot forward, his forepaws slamming into the warrior's chest, knocking him dot the earth.

"It looks like the tables are turned, Thornslash." Silverpaw hissed bitterly, his claws digging into the dark tom's flesh, far too close to his throat.

Thornslash was obviously panicking, but there was even hurt in his eyes. "Silverpaw... you don't understand!"

"Talk fast, you horrible piece of fox-dung."

"Silverpaw, I always thought... that you were beautiful. Your soft fur, your lovely blue eyes, your gentle voice. But you refused to ever be what you were meant, and I-I loved you, and I didn't know what to do, so I forced you... I thought I could remind you what you really were... and that somehow you would forgive me... but you kept refusing... I was so happy when you said you understood... that you're truly a lovely she-" Thornslash was cut off with a choke.

"You shut your filthy, horrid jaws, scum. You- you used me, _raped_ me. I will never forgive you for what you've done to me. And I won't give you the chance to ever do it again." Silverpaw's eyes hardened. "Goodbye, Thornslash."

His claws tore through Thornslash's throat... again... and again... and again... he kept shredding his enemy's flesh to ribbons.

Then the red gaze that had clouded his judgement began to clear. Silverpaw shook his head, trying to calm down. Then he looked down, and almost vomited. The mangled body was so disturbing, it couldn't have been Silverpaw who landed all those blows... backed away from the corpse of Thornslash and ran blindly into the forest.

* * *

**Dark chapter, neh? I feel bad for my poor characters. I torment them too much... ah, well, lets just say poor Silverpaw's troubles are far from over.**

**If there are any really weird typos I missed, it's because I wrote the last part of this on my iPod and autocorrect keeps replacing words with really weird random things and not actually fixing real typos... *thanks, autocorrect.**

***Damn you.**


	3. Skystar

**I've changed the rating to M, as some of you agreed that I should. It just gets darker from here as it is.**

**Thanks for all the support the story has :D! I'm glad everyone who's reviewed so far likes it :).**

**Well, Thornslash is dead. I wonder how this turn of events will influence poor Silverpaw's life?**

* * *

Silverpaw sat numbly in camp as the magled body of his enemy was dragged into camp. When the warrior had gone missing for two days, the clan was frantic to find their oh-so-beloved warrior. Silverpaw looked away, unable to look at the cat he had brutally killed.

Wails filled the air as many cats gazed upon the corpse of Thornslash. Wavefall and Hailclaw stared in horror, then enchanged a glance.

_They know_, Silverpaw thought, his pelt rising in fear.

Skystar padded from his den and stared at Thornslash's body in surprise, then lowered his head. "This is a horrible misfortune. All of ThunderClan will grieve for the loss of our brave, noble warrior."

_Noble, my tail! He wouldn't know honor if it fell out of a tree and hit him on the nose!_

A russet tom called Redstreak narrowed his eyes and growled at Skystar. "There is one other thing. There was a cat's scent all around the place he died."

Skystar raised his head. "Did you identify it?"

"Oh, yes."

"Then who? Tell me!"

"Well, there were some stale scents of Wavefall and Hailclaw. It seemed they traveled to that spot often. But the freshest?"

Silverpaw froze in his place, mortified.

"That would be Silverpaw."

Yowls of shock and rage filled the air, replacing the wails and moans of distress. The Clan turned on the silver apprentice, all yelling accusations.

"Murderer!"

"Traitor!"

"Horrible scum!"

"How could you?!"

Hawkpaw ran from the crowd and stood in front of his brother, facing the rest of the clan. "Stop!" He cried. "I'm sure Silverpaw has an explanation!"

Graywind too came forth to defend his kit. "I'm sure Silverpaw didn't have anything to do with Thornslash's death! My da- my son wouldn't have killed any cat!"

Silverpaw noticed Hailclaw and Wavefall were both wearing terrified looks, and their stares begged Silverpaw for his mercy. Honeyleaf only looked solemn, and gave Silverpaw a nod of encouragement, to his surprise.

_She wants it to end. All of the lies- she wants it to be over as well._

And so, with determinination, Silverpaw raised his head against the whole of his clan. "Thornslash was no honourable warrior. He, along with Wavefall and Hailclaw, yes, your most cherished, beloved cats, would take me out to the forest in the very spot where he died to force me to mate with them. Eventually Wavefall didn't, but he was always there, making me stay. You may think these are wonderful cats- but they are monsters. All of them. I killed Thornslash so that he could never take advantage of me again." Silverpaw's words echoed through the now silent camp.

The clan was mixed. Mosy shouted out and accused Silverpaw of being a liar as well as a killer, but some murmured to one another, as though considering whether or not to believe him. Hailclaw glared at the apprentice, fury written plain on his features, but Wavefall only bowed his head in shame.

Then Honeyleaf stood, and raised her voice above the others. "Silverpaw speaks the truth." Many looked at her, bewildered. The golden she-cat continued, nervously, "I was once friends with them. We... used to bully her. Although I have stopped, it is something I will never forgive myself for. I stopped... when they, Thornslash, really, told me what they were going to do."

"'Teach her that she's a she-cat,' he told me. 'We'll show her.' His smile was sickening. We were only apprentices then... I followed them because I didn't want to be tormented. But then, when they led her to the forest... I knew I couldn't stay on their side. They took it too far, and I never said anything for the fear that they would punish me the same way the did Silverpaw." Honeyfern closed her eyes, flattening her ears. Guilt rolled off the she-cat in waves of emotion.

The camp was heavy with stunned silence.

Hawkpaw whispered to Silverpaw, trembling. "He... he did that to you? I'm so, so sorry... I don't know how to even..." his voice trailed off.

Skystar looked to his deputy, Moonflash. "We will discuss this in my den with Redstreak, Honeyleaf, Flintstrike, Wavefall, Hailclaw, and Silverpaw."

Redstreak and Flintsrike, who had found Thornslash's body, nodded and followed. Hailclaw furiously stormed towards the ThunderClan leader, while Wavefall's tail dragged along on the ground. Honeyleaf walked beside Silverpaw, her green eyes dull.

"I know I can never make it up to you, Silverpaw. But I am truly sorry. I was foolish, and I was secretly scared of Thornslash especially." Honeyleaf murmured, her tail flicking.

Silverpaw didn't reply. He just nodded numbly and padded into the den.

Skystar sat in the back of his den, his thick white pelt ruffled. "Redstreak, what do you think?"

The russet tom flicked his tail. "Well, if Honeyleaf can vouch for Silverpaw, I'll believe him. And anyway, why would he kill Thornslash if he didn't have a reason?"

R_edstreak... called me 'he'? Someone _actually_ respects me?_ Silverpaw felt a glimmer of hope.

Wavefall whispered hoarsely. "It's true... all of it." Hailclaw sent the blue-gray tom a glare.

Skystar stared at the two warriors levelly, his gaze unreadable. "Moonflash, find a place to keep these two... troublemakers. The rest of you are dismissed, other than Silverpaw. I must speak with her privately."

_Troublemakers? Are you _serious?_ That's it?!_ Silverpaw's claws unsheathed and dug into the earth in frustration. Moonflash gave Hailclaw a rough shove, and those dismissed exited.

Silverpaw was now alone with Skystar.

"Did you really think that killing Thornslash was going to make anything better for you?"

What?

"I-" Silverpaw stared at Skystar in confusion. The white tom was smiling dangerously. "You foolish, foolish kit."

Silverpaw started to back away, but Skystar let out a low growl. "Don't you dare, you piece of filth."

Swift as a snake, the ThunderClan leader moved closer and pulled Silverpaw's chin up with a hooked claw, forcing the apprentice to stare into his eyes. "Listen, you sorry excuse for a cat. You are nothing, understood? And did you really think Thornslash thought up his little plan all on his own?"

"What are you...?" Silverpaw stared at his leader in confusion.

Then understanding dawned on him, and Silverpaw felt sick to his stomach.

Skystar smiled sickeningly. "Yes, Silverpaw. _I _told Thornslash what to do. He brought Wavefall and Hailclaw into it, and by the looks on their faces I assume he took credit for the idea. But seeing as you're still a stubborn little fool, well, I'll have to teach you from now on."

Silverpaw felt an impending sense of doom. _My life is never going to get better. No matter what I do... someone will always hurt me._

* * *

_Rainstorm's POV_

Rainstorm stuck his head into the apprentice's den, and spotted Silverpaw crouched in the back. He smiled and padded in, but froze when Silverpaw glanced up and let out a cry of fear. The silver tabby skittered backwards, trembling. "Don't hurt me..." He whimpered.

The thick-pelted gray tom studied the apprentice for a moment. Silverpaw was frail, his coat had lost the lovely shine that it used to have. Ribs were easily visible from beneath his pelt. His eyes were mad with terror.

Rainstorm murmured gently. "Hey, its me. Rainstorm. Your friend. You poor thing... you look starved... I'm not going to hurt you, Silverpaw."

Silverpaw's eyes seemed to clear a bit as he recognized the gray tom. "Rainstorm...?"

He stepped closer. "Yes, that's right. Come on, let's go for a walk. You need to get out of camp."

Silverpaw hesitated. Rainstorm could hear him whispering to himself. "If he wants to hurt me, I can't stop him, anyway." Silverpaw crept closer. Rainstorm smiled. "Come on. Have you ever seen the lake at night?"

Silverpaw shook his head. "N-no..."

Rainstorm gently nudged Silverpaw to his paws. "Come on, then. Its about time you did."

It was hard to get Silverpaw to go. The silver tabby did leave the den, following Rainstorm, but once they were outside of camp, every noise sent him flinching or jumping in fear. Rainstorm wanted to comfort him, but even a tail laid on Silverpaw's shoulder spooked him. _What exactly has been happening to him since Thornslash died? Is he really that scarred from it, or is it something else?_

"Okay, close your eyes. I'll lead you from here." Rainstorm glanced at Silverpaw. The silver tabby, trembling, did as told. _Oh, Silverpaw, why don't you trust me?_

Rainstorm padded next to Silverpaw, their pelts brushing slightly. The apprentice bristled, but didn't leap away.

"We're here. You can open them now."

Silverpaw's blue eyes opened, then widened as he took in the scene. "Whoa..."

The lake was dark, but the surface reflected all of Silverpelt and the near-full moon overhead. The moon and stars cast a cold glow over the clear water. It was beautiful, and the water was still, leaving the reflection undisturbed.

Silverpaw sat and gazed out over the lake, an air of peace seeming to come over him. Rainstorm smiled and sat beside him. "It's lovely, isn't it?" Silverpaw nodded and smiled.

Rainstorm, despite the amazing view, founs himself unable to tear his eyes away from Silverpaw. Under the moonlight, the silver tabby was simply mesmerizing.

The gray tom felt himself thinking of the questions he often wondered about, regarding Silverpaw.

_Well, since Silverpaw wants to be a tom, does he like she-cats? Or does he still like toms? How is everyone else treating him when I'm not around? Why doesn't he trust me anymore? Does he think everyone is out to get him?_

And then there was the one that always made his ears flush bright red. _How do I feel about Silverpaw?_

Rainstorm gazed at the silver tabby. He allowed himself another question. _Am I in love with Silverpaw?_

It was the first question he had the answer to.

_Yes._

Rainstorm slid closer, pressing his pelt against Silverpaw's. "It sure is cold out, isn't it?"

Silverpaw's eyes widened, and he bristled slightly. The apprentice flinched, but Rainstorm pressed closer. _I'm not like Thornslash. Please, please, trust me. I don't want to hurt you._

After a long silence, the apprentice relaxed slightly. He even seemed to lean closer. "Yeah," he murmured, gazing back out at the lake.

Rainstorm broke into a huge smile.

Silverpaw glanced at him, a twinkle of amusement in his blue gaze. "What are you smiling at, mouse-brain?"

There was the old Silverpaw. Rainstorm replied without hesitation. "You."

Silverpaw's ear-tips turned red as he looked embarrassed. "O-oh."

There was another silence before Silverpaw leaned more against the gray warrior. "It is kinda cold. You're nice and warm, though."

Rainstorm purred and leaned his head against Silverpaw's.

They both seemed to be ignoring the fact that it was a warm Greenleaf night.


	4. Ashstar

**Thank you guys all SO MUCH for all of your wonderful reviews! This is my first story that's broken 40 reviews :D! Honestly, I didn't expect so much support for this story. **

**Poppywhisker: Thank you so much! Yeah, trans* cats are a little odd, but I thought I'd try it out anyway XD.**

**Owlwhisker: Well, not really. Males are just as capable of being raped as females.**

**Scarletpool- Silverpaw was born a she-cat, but perceives himself as a tom :)**

**Wish Upon A Warrior Cat: I like this plan. Lets do it!**

**Leviathan48****: Welp, here you go!**

**Siennablaze: Did I 0-0? If so, it was on accident, heh. Her name should be Honeyleaf :D**

**uncomfortablebuffalo: Awesome! I'm glad you like this! Yeah, that was kind of a twist I wasn't planning XD. Sometimes I just sort of go into my 'writing mode' and I'm not even sure where half of the stuff I'm typing is coming from.**

**Sorry that it took me so long to update, I went on vacation for a couple of weeks and before then was emotionally sucker-punched. I'm still kinda feeling down, but I doubt that's gonna go away for awhile.**

**Ugh. I was _so close_ to finishing the chapter when half of it got deleted. Grr.**

**Enough of author's notes! Time for Silverpaw!**

* * *

"What can you scent, Silverpaw?" Falconstrike, Silverpaw's mentor, turned to him and nodded encouragingly.

The silver tabby parted his jaws and tasted the air for a long moment. They were currently by the ShadowClan border, along with Hawkpaw and his mentor, Furzetail. Skystar was with the patrol as well, much to Silverpaw's discomfort. He tried to stay as far away from the large, ragged white tom as possible.

"A hint of fox- but quite stale, and I think its blowing in from ShadowClan's side. Some mouse, back from where we came... er, and faint ShadowClan scent." Silverpaw blinked and looked at Falconstrike. The tall gray tom smiled. "Well done. It seems ShadowClan hasn't refreshed their border in awhile, but I can smell them heading this way. There's no point in turning back, they'll probably just confront us anyway."

"Let them," snarled Skystar. "I'd love to rip some of their mangy pelts."

Furzetail nodded, as though he shared his leader's views on ShadowClan, but Falconstrike looked worried. Silverpaw silently agreed. _You idiot. You'll just get us killed. Not that it would make a difference, you piece of dung._ Silverpaw loathed the ThunderClan leader with all of his being, due to the horrible things that he did to him. Silverpaw shuddered and pushed that thought away. Just the thought of him made him feel nauseous.

As predicted, five ShadowClan warriors were swiftly running towards the border. "Skystar!" Came a snarl from a lithe gray tom who seemed to be leading the patrol. "I might have suspected you'd be skulking around by my border."

"Ashstar," Skystar let out a dry chuckle. "How pleasant to see you."

"Yes, how _is _the prey running?" Ashstar cast a long look at Silverpaw, eyes widening. "Do you _abuse_ your apprentices? Look how scrawny she is! And why so many claw-marks? Skystar, the noble leader." He hissed contemptuously.

"Of course not," Skystar hissed, though his eyes flashed. He shot Silverpaw an icy glare. If looks could kill, Silverpaw would be in StarClan.

_Yes, yes he does, so much, help me, _ Silverpaw thought, staring at Ashstar with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Too afraid to let her speak for herself?" Ashstar took a step forward.

_I don't even care if you refuse to call me a tom, just take me away from all this, please._

Skystar let out a low growl. "Go home, Ashstar."

The gray tom obviously was not about to be ignored. He looked to Silverpaw, nodding. "Speak. Why do you look so starved, so beaten?"

"I-" Silverpaw squeaked, then let out a low whimper. "Please, just help me."

Skystar let out an enraged snarl. "Shut it, you worthless kit!"

Ashstar smiled wryly. "Thanks for confirming. Now, let me take her off your _capable _paws." He flicked his tail, and his four warriors slowly started to move forward.

"Never!" Skystar roared, unsheathing his claws.

The gray ShadowClan leader tipped his head to the side slightly. "Why do you care, if she is as useless as you say? You obviously don't care about her, so let me have her. Or do we really need to fight this out? You're outnumbered, seeing as your apprentice wants our help."

After a long moment of silence, Skystar surprised everyone by hissing, "Fine. Get out of here, you filth, before I change my mind and just kill you here."

Hawkpaw took a step towards Silverpaw. "Please, don't! I'll miss you! I can't lose my brother!"

_Hawkpaw... my brother..._ Silverpaw felt his heart wrench. "I'm sorry, Hawkpaw. I-I want this."

"What about Rainstorm? He loves you, you know."

Silverpaw felt anguish at the thought of losing the gray warrior. "I can't... I'm not safe in ThunderClan. Tell him... tell him I'm sorry. I'll miss you so much, Hawkpaw. We're best friends, right? Promise?"

And as he had promised moons ago, Hawkpaw murmured, "I promise."

Silverpaw quickly licked his ear and hurried to join Ashstar and the ShadowClan patrol. _What am I doing? I can't go back... not now. Skystar wasn't joking when he said we would kill me... and I don't ever want to be near him again._

As they headed away from everything Silverpaw had known, the patrol formed a loose circle around Silverpaw, with Ashstar on his left. "What's your name?" He asked, with a friendly blink.

"I'm Silverpaw," He mewed, and then, raising his head slightly and with a tone of determination, he added. "I'm a tom."

Ashstar blinked. "You... uh. Alright, we can talk about it later." Ashstar offered him a smile, and it was not like the dangerous crooked ones that Skystar wore, but much like the kind ones of Rainstorm. Silverpaw felt warm knowing that not every cat was like Thornslash or Skystar. "What did they do to you?" He asked, eyes hardening. "Did they hurt you because you... want to be called a tom?"

Silverpaw nodded silently.

Ashstar let out a little growl, muttering to himself. Then, looking furious, he spoke. "Jaytooth, Harewing, come with me. We'll go on ahead to camp. Snowbreeze and Squirreltail, you can continue leading Silverpaw to camp." Jaytooth, a blue-gray tom, and Harewing, a pale brown she-cat, nodded, and they sped away with their leader.

Squirreltail, a ginger she-cat, and Snowbreeze, a long-furred whiter she-cat, smiled kindly at Silverpaw. "Ashstar is a noble cat," Snowbreeze purred. "He stand up for everyone, regardless of where they came from. Why, I was once a loner, though I fell ill to Greencough. He brought me back to camp and Beetlestorm, our medicine cat, healed me. I've been here ever since."

Squirreltail jumped in. "I can only imagine the tales you've heard about ShadowClan, but we aren't bad at all."

Silverpaw let out a little purr. _Today has certainly proved that._

* * *

As they entered the ShadowClan camp, Silverpaw was surprised by how... similar it was. Of course, it was very different. The dens all appeared to be bramble thickets, the forest was pine rather than oak, and just seemed more dense and shadowy. It fit, seeing as ShadowClan resided here.

But what was similar was the mannerisms of the clan. A cluster of apprentices chattered over a shared thrush near a clump of ferns, a pair of queens shared tongues in a patch of sunlight, while their kits scampered playfully by a trio of elders who chuckled at their antics.

Ashstar was sitting in the center of camp, talking quietly to a large blue-gray tom. As he spotted Silverpaw, Squirreltail, and Snowbreeze, he smiled and said something to the tom, who nodded and hurried over to the trio. "Silverpaw, right? I'm Beetlestorm, ShadowClan's medicine cat. Come with me, I'll just check you up real quick." His voice was deep, but friendly, and his eyes had a glimmer of humor in them. Silverpaw decided immediately that he liked the tom.

Beetlestorm led Silverpaw over to a bramble thicket that had a hollowed-out, sandy floor covered in pine needles. The medicine cat sniffed at some of the scratches along his back. "Not too deep, don't smell rotten, they should be fine. Just little scratches. Do you feel ill; feverish, or nauseous?"

Silverpaw shook his head, smiling a little. "No, I think I'm okay."

Beeltlestorm nodded. "That's good. I'm glad. Now, you're quite scrawny and weak. Now- don't protest, you need to eat up if you want to be strong. I'm sure you think you're strong now, but you're just skin and bones. You'll need a lot of food so we can put some meat on your bones." He stuck his head out of the den, and called. "Fuzzypaw, come here!"

A young she-cat with a messy gray pelt, fur sticking out at every angle, scampered over. "Yes, Beetlestorm?"

"Fetch Silverpaw here some prey, a good, fat squirrel or bird. After s- he is finished eating, you can led Silverpaw to Ashstar's den. Don't pester Silverpaw too much, you hear?"

_Ashstar actually told Beetlestorm I said I was a tom? _Silverpaw was appalled. ShadowClan was certainly much different from ThunderClan, that was for sure.

Fuzzypaw blinked, looking a bit puzzled about the 'he', but nodded and smiled at Silverpaw. "Come on, I'll show you to the fresh-kill pile." She turned and padded toward a small pile of prey, leading Silverpaw behind her. "So... what made you come here?" Fuzzypaw asked, as she sorted through the small pile, searching for a good piece of fresh-kill. She plucked out a fat pigeon, and dropped it at Silverpaw's paws.

"Oh... um. I, I'm a tom. But they don't listen to me, they hurt me. A lot." Silverpaw flattened his ears, not wanting to talk about what Thornslash and Skystar had done to him.

"You're...?" Fuzzypaw blinked, tilting her head to the side, obviously confused. "I thought you were a she-cat."

_Please, don't be like them..._ "Well, I'm not. StarClan must've made some mistake. I know I'm a tom."

Fuzzypaw was quiet for a moment. "Okay," she meowed.

"Really?" Silverpaw was surprised at her easy agreement.

"Well, I might not really get it, but it's not my place to judge, right?" Fuzzypaw smiled.

_Thank StarClan. Maybe things really can get better._ "Do you want some of this? I doubt I can finish it all." Silverpaw mewed, despite the pang of hunger in his belly, he was reluctant to eat the whole thing in front of the ShadowClan apprentice.

"Sure," Fuzzypaw purred, and bent down to take a bite.

The two apprentices shared the bird, Silverpaw feeling a wave of calm and hope. _I can start over here, and it won't be so bad._


	5. ShadowClan

**YES! I FINALLY UPDATED! REJOICE, MY FRIENDS!**

**So, this is mostly a lot of introductions in this chapter. Y'know, Silverpaw meeting cats, and all that jazz.**

**Also, heres a bit of an update on me and my life (yeah, boring, I know. You can skip this if you want.)**

**In the time during this story's hiatus, I've been questioning my gender a lot. I've come to find that I identify as somewhere in the gender-neutral/non-binary spectrum, but I'm still trying to figure out what label fits me best. I also came out to my family as pansexual, and everybody's been really accepting, which is great!**

**Okay, that's it about my personal life. Here's also an update on my stories. I deleted a few of the ones I never felt I would really finish: Ever's Rise, To The Death, Nightwhisper Reads, The Moonhigh Show, Misfits, and Test Subject. Sorry to those of you who were enjoying them! Betrayal is currently on hold, as are a number of my other stories. The only ones I'm working on at the moment are Broken (A new one that I hope you'll look at!), Tide, Darkness Rising, and FMRAOB. (And of course, this one!)**

**Alright, alright, sorry for the long note. Here's the chapter!**

* * *

"So, Silverpaw, please, tell me what they did to you when you were in ThunderClan." Ashstar gave the silver tabby a friendly blink. They were on his den now, along with Beetlestorm. When Silverpaw hesitated, Beetlestorm nodded encouragingly. "It's alright, little one, you're among friends here."

So Silverpaw took a deep breath and began. "Ever since I was a kit... I've felt like a tom. I don't know how to explain it to you, I've just always known with certainty. But my own mother wouldn't listen to me, not even when my brother and father would. She shunned me from then on. Then, when I was an apprentice, these four apprentices were always bullying me... The warriors known as Thornslash, Wavefall, Hailclaw, and Honeyleaf. But then... the toms took it farther than I thought they would... they started forcing me out to the forest... where they would force me to mate with them. Thornslash always ordered them around..." Silverpaw had his eyes clenched shut from the memory, claws digging into the soil.

But instead of accusations, he received only sympathy. "You poor, poor thing," Beetlestorm murmured, laying his tail on Silverpaw's shoulder to comfort him.

Ashstar let out an enraged hiss. "I can't believe them... Though, I heard Thornslash died? What happened to him?"

Silverpaw flattened his ears. "I... I killed him. So he could never hurt me again."

Ashstar's eyes hardened, but again, there was no anger towards the young apprentice. "He deserved what he got," the ShadowClan leader hissed. "A coward like him deserves death."

Silverpaw continued, a little more steadily, encouraged by the leader and medicine cat's support. "Then, they found out what happened. Honeyleaf stood up for me, saying I wasn't lying when I told them what Thornslash had done to me. They- Skystar, really- held a meeting to decide what to do with them. He ended up sentencing them to three moons of taking care of the elders. Because when he dismissed the rest of them, he told me that it was him who told them to do those things to me... to teach me that I was she-cat. And then... he did it to me, too..."

Ashstar's eyes were wide with horror. "I can't believe... StarClan, that is truly terrible. Skystar is a good for nothing..." Ashstar's voice lowered, muttering whatever insults he had to the ThunderClan leader. After a moment, he spoke again. "Silverpaw... I know your young life has been hard and cruel, but here in ShadowClan, we can show you a different one. Will you join our ranks? I will make certain that no one treats you wrongly."

Silverpaw looked up into the ShadowClan leader's kind amber gaze, and felt at peace. "Thank you," he murmured. "I will."

Ashstar smiled widely. "Great. Then I will hold a meeting right away."

As the ShadowClan leader padded out of the den, Beetlestorm gave Silverpaw a kind smile. "It takes a lot of courage to reveal such pain. Come now, young one." The blue-gray tom stood and headed out of the den as well, and Silverpaw shook himself slightly and followed.

_For the first time in my life... I feel at peace... I haven't been hated by ShadowClan..._

Silverpaw watched as Ashstar climbed nimbly up a tree to perch on one large branch. He called out in a loud yowl, "All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Highbranch for a clan meeting!"

Slowly but surely, cats came forth from dens, looking curiously up at Ashstar as the clan converged together to join to hear their leader's words. Ashstar gazed down at them all for a moment before speaking. "We have a new member to join our ranks," he started.

The clan cats murmured in confusion to each other. "Hush, let me continue. Young Silverpaw was from ThunderClan, though knowing that mange-pelt Skystar he was treated horribly. We rescued him today, and we will welcome him as an apprentice of ShadowClan."

The mutterings increased in volume as cats got a good look at Silverpaw. Ashstar silenced them again with a look. "Silverpaw is to be called and referred to as a tom. If I find out about _anyone_ who treats him wrong, there will be consequences. Now, I will give Silverpaw a mentor." The gray leader paused for a moment, silent in thought, before continuing. "Snowbreeze, you will be mentor to Silverpaw. You know what it is like to be different and wrongly judged, and I am sure you will pass on all you know to him."

Snowbreeze smiled kindly as she padded forward to touch noses with Silverpaw. The silver tabby smiled widely as they pulled away. _I'm glad she's my mentor. I think... I think things really are going to get better._

Snowbreeze flicked Silverpaw with her plumy tail. "I'm glad I got you as my apprentice! I was hoping I'd be able to mentor you. Though Squirreltail was hoping to get you too, but I guess she'll just have to wait until Ferretpounce''s kits are apprenticed." Then she blinked, and shook her head. "Er- sorry, I'm rambling again. I do that sometimes. Uh, how about I introduce you to everyone? Then I can take you out and show you the territory."

Silverpaw purred in amusement. He quite liked Snowbreeze, and found her quirky personality pretty amusing. "Okay!" he purred. "That sounds good."

"Great!" Snowbreeze purred. "Well, I suppose I'll take you to the apprentices' den first! Then we can go to the nursery and the medicine cats - oh, well, you've already met Beetlestorm- so then we can go to the warriors' and elders' den! The clan is a bit small at the moment, so there's not a whole lot of cats to meet."

Silverpaw padded after his mentor, smiling. It was nice to see someone so happy and bubbly for once. ThunderClan was full of rude, shrewd cats, while so far, ShadowClan seemed to be completely friendly.

Outside the apprentices' den, Silverpaw saw Fuzzypaw chatting away with four other young cats. There was a pair of dark gray apprentices, one she-cat and one tom that were almost completely identical. Beside them, a black tom who fidgeted about awkwardly, while gazing nervously at a ginger she-cat who's loud voice seemed to match her fiery coat.

"Hey there, apprentices, here's your new denmate!" Snowbreeze mewed cheerfully, and instantly all eyes were on SIlverpaw.

"Hi, Silverpaw!" Fuzzypaw instantly chirped. "Meet the gang."

"I'm Jumppaw-" the gray tom started.

"-And I'm Yarrowpaw!" His sister jumped in.

"They're twins and they do and say everything together," Fuzzypaw explained, rolling her eyes.

"That's for sure!" They said simultaneously, smirking.

"I-I'm N-Nightpaw." The black tom stuttered. "N-Nice to m-meet you."

"He's very anxious and has a stutter," Snowbreeze whispered.

"And _I'm_ Firepaw!" the ginger mollie proclaimed, shoving forward to look Silverpaw up and down. "And you're the one that thinks you're a tom. You're strange."

Silverpaw bristled momentarily, until Fuzzypaw roughly shoved Firepaw over. "Shut up, furrball! You heard Ashstar, don't be rude!"

Firepaw huffed. "I'm not being _rude._" she grumbled. "I'm just stating a fact." She looked back at Silverpaw, and huffed. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. Why do you think you're a tom, anyway?"

"Because I am?" Silverpaw meowed sarcastically. "It's like I haven't _ever been asked that in my life_."

Firepaw stared at him for a long moment. "I like this one." She finally said, nodding in approval. "He's cool."

Nightpaw nodded hurriedly. "Y-yeah. I-I-I like h-him too."

"Well!" Snowbreeze said quickly. "You guys can get to know each other soon enough! I'm going to introduce him to some of the warriors."

"See ya!" Yarrowpaw and Jumppaw mewed, and Silverpaw felt his chest swell a bit. Hearing them- all of them- refer to him as _he_ just filled him with so much joy. For once in his life, he was surrounded by kind cats. Sure, Firepaw might be a bit, well, fiery, they were all great so far.

"So this way is the warriors den," Snowbreeze purred. The warriors den was under a large bramble bush, and a few warriors sat outside, eating, though it was mostly deserted.

"Hey, Snowbreeze!" A mottled brown tabby glanced over, swallowing a bite of frog. "That's the new one, huh?"

"That's right, Barktooth!" Snowbreeze said, padding up to him. "This is Silverpaw."

Barktooth stared at Silverpaw for a moment. "Nice to meet you. This silent rock here is Eaglecry," he said, flicking his tail at his companion, a gray tabby tom.

Eaglecry sighed, fluttering his eyes at Barktooth. "You flatter me, you lump of bog sludge."

Barktooth put a paw to his chest and swooned. "Oh, stop it, you."

Silverpaw snickered at the pair's antics, and Snowbreeze purred in amusement. "You pair of lovebirds need to get a den."

It was Barktooth's turn to flutter his eyes at Snowbreeze. "But my dear, you know I only have eyes for you!"

Eaglecry snorted, taking another bite of the frog they were sharing. "She wouldn't fall for bog sludge like you, love."

Barktooth sighed dramatically. "Oh, woe is me. How will I ever cope without your sweet love?"

Snowbreeze shoved him playfully. "You'll find a way, I'm sure. C'mon, Silverpaw. Let's go meet the elders."

As they headed away, Silverpaw snickered to his mentor. "Well, Barktooth sure seems to like you."

Snowbreeze laughed good-naturedly. "Oh, I don't think so. That's his mate you just met."

Silverpaw blinked. "Wait, really?"

"Yep!" Snowbreeze purred, continuing to lead him across camp.

_Whoa... So me and Rainstorm aren't the only ones like this? That's so cool!_ With that thought in mind, Silverpaw happily skipped after his mentor.

The pair ducked into the elder's den, which was a sort of hollow made from branches and moss. Inside, voices could be heard, two deep with age, and a few occasional excited squeals of kits.

"Hello, Flaretail, Smokecloud." Snowbreeze nodded and smiled, then purred at a group of four kits who had turned their wide eyes to view the guests. "Hello, kits!"

"Hi, Snowbreeze!" Three of them responded back brightly, while a silver tabby nodded silently.

Snowbreeze smiled again. "Now, why don't you introduce yourselves to SIlverpaw?"

"I'm Mirekit!" A long-furred dark gray she-cat mewed. "Erm, she's Whisperkit. She doesn't talk," Mirekit said, nudging the silent silver tabby. Whisperkit frowned and looked away shyly.

"Yes, that poor dear," one of the elders, a black tom rasped. "She's mute, I'm afraid. As bright as the others, but just unable to talk a peep. I'm Smokecloud, that's Flaretail, who is blind."

"I can introduce myself!" The ginger tom grumbled. "I may be blind, but I ain't deaf!"

The other pair of kits thrust themselves forward. The first, a cream she-cat, squeaked, "I'm Poppykit!"

"I'm Grasskit," the single mottled brown tom mewed solemly, gazing at Silverpaw with huge green eyes. "You're pretty."

Snowbreeze stiffened, as though expecting Silverpaw to be angry, but he only purred. "Thank you, Grasskit. You're a very handsome tom."

A wide smile stretched across Grasskit's face, and he let out a loud purr. "I'm handsome!"

Silverpaw purred as well. _I don't think I've ever made anyone that happy before._ _Except…_ his heart twisted for a moment. _Rainstorm. I wonder… I wonder how he is. I hope he's okay. I really hope he's okay._

* * *

_ThunderClan_

Rainstorm let another sob wrack through him. His body shook with each one, tears wet the fur around his face. Water lapped at his paws. He was sitting in the same spot that he had led Silverpaw to, where they had sat together and had one night of happiness.

Now all this held was pain.

He stared at his reflection in the water, and let out a cry of despair, slamming a paw in the water, distorting the reflection and splashing water upon himself. It would be so much easier if he just went in the lake and never came back out again.

_I can't. I can't… I can't do that to Silverpaw. My love… why did you have to go?_ Rainstorm let out another pained sob again. His chest burned with pain, feeling as though he were suffocating. _No… I know why. Skystar. And all of ThunderClan. Hawkpaw told me that ShadowClan seemed like they would be good to him…_ Rainstar stared up at the sky, tears still falling. _But I miss him so much. If I left for ShadowClan… Skystar would certainly declare war on ShadowClan. Silverpaw… wherever you are… just know that I love you._


	6. Gathering

**Here we are with chapter six! I'll be replying to some of the reviews, but before that, I must address this:**

**I will not be writing lemons in this story. A couple of you have suggested/asked for that, but it's not happening. The only reason this is an M Rated story is because of the rape mentions, which can be triggering to some people. Lemons are not going to be included in this story (And probably not any of mine, honestly.)**

**Reviews: (There's a lot, folks)**

**Poppywhisker99- Thanks for the review! Honestly, I'm not sure about Silverpaw or Rainstorm's sexualities. I suppose Rainstorm is probably pansexual, but the jury's still out on Silverpaw. I feel like he **_**could**_ **like she-cats as well, but who knows! And yeah! Coming out was a lot easier than I thought I would. My stepmom actually said she was almost hoping I was going to say I was a lesbian so she wouldn't have to worry about me getting pregnant XD.**

**Cinderfire16- No, no, its totally fine! I don't believe Silverpaw will end up bearing kits (though I have considered this), it could be a possibility. I feel like Silverpaw would like being a parent but the whole pregnancy and kitting would be very mentally challenging. And I guess you'll have to wait and see what happens! Don't worry too much, I don't intend for this to be a horrible tragedy.**

**lawsonsog- As said above, there won't be any lemons in this here story. Sorry, but we're leaving the shmexy stuff outta here.**

**Spiderweave- I know, that poor babychild. But yes, Silverpaw at least is doing better! And yeah, sorry about the lack of earlier transition chapters. I think that the story will flow a bit better from now on. **

**Wish Upon a Warrior Cat- You can totally call me Kat if you want :D!**

**AnxiousAnon- Well, I hope you can figure things out, good luck! And that's an interesting theory! I had never actually considered that, but I like the way you think.**

**Sagan Catherine Liddel- Thank you so much for all your reviews!**

**carifioo2001- Personally, I have no sympathy for Thornslash. He got what he deserved. But onto Silverpaw's sexuality, I don't think that his birth gender means he'd be attracted to toms… but I dunno.**

**A Word worth 1000 Pictures- I'm not… I'm not sure what your point is?**

**shiny kittens- Thanks! And yeah, its sorta like bisexual, but attraction to people who identify as any gender. So people who are genderqueer, non-binary, agender, etc. **

**And for everyone else that said the story was great, thank you so much!**

**I'm also including the Allegiances! I almost forgot to do WindClan ._.**

* * *

Silverpaw was grooming himself outside the apprentices' den when a yowl caught his attention.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Highbranch to hear my words!"

_A meeting? I wonder if it's the kits' appren- oh! The Gathering is tonight!_ Silverpaw rose and padded to join the gathering clan. It had been half a moon since he had joined the clan, and he was adjusting quite nicely. Everyone was very friendly- well, except for a tom named Thistlefoot, but Silverpaw heard that he was grumpy and rude to everyone.

Silverpaw seated himself next to Nightpaw, who looked at him in surprise. Silverpaw had an inkling of a feeling that the other apprentices merely tolerated Nightpaw, but didn't like him much. So, Silverpaw made an effort to befriend and be nice to Nightpaw. _I know what it's like to be an outcast._ "How are you?" The silver tabby purred, trying to strike up a conversation.

"I-I-I'm okay." Nightpaw looked away. "I g-guess."

Silverpaw blinked. He could tell something was wrong with Nightpaw. "What's wrong?"

"Y-you d-don't want to l-l-listen to m-me." Nightpaw said, a tone of sadness creeping into his voice.

"Of course I do!" Silverpaw smiled, giving him a friendly nudge. "I'm your friend."

Nightpaw blinked, sniffling. "M-my friend?"

Silverpaw nodded. "Of course."

"Y-you d-don't think my st-st-stutter is a-annoying?"

"Definitely not," Silverpaw purred.

A wide smile appeared on Nightpaw's face. "I-I've n-never had a f-friend before."

"Now you do," Silverpaw said, twitching his tail. "Now, what's the matter?"

"I-it's Firepaw," Nightpaw mumbled. "I-I r-r-really l-like her. B-but I th-think she find m-me annoying. I-it's m-m-my st-stupid st-stutter."

_Why didn't I realize that before?_ Silverpaw felt stupid. Nightpaw was clearly smitten with the pretty ginger mollie. He always was paying attention to her and agreed with almost everything that came out of that she-cat's mouth. "I doubt that she thinks of you that way," Silverpaw said, though doubted his own words.

Ashstar began to speak, cutting off any further talk. "Everyone is present, so we may begin," he said. "As you all know, the Gathering is tonight, and Jaytooth and I have decided on who to bring. Barktooth, Thistlefoot, Snowbreeze, Mistleleaf, Waterdrop, Yarrowpaw, Jumpaw, Nightpaw, and Silverpaw are to attend."

Silverpaw was surprised, as was the rest of the clan. There were a few nervous murmurs, until Snowbreeze spoke up, her voice filled with both anger and determination. "Will you question ThunderClan? The clans should all know about how they abused Silverpaw!"

Ashfur looked down at the white mollie. "That is exactly what I intend to do. ThunderClan will not be allowed to go on like this. This is why I am bringing Silverpaw. Despite being with us for half a moon, he is still scrawny, clearly having been underfed." Noticing Silverpaw's outraged expression, he purred. "Now, I do not intend to call you weak, Silverpaw. But you are still skin-and-bones." There was a ripple of purrs throughout the clan. Silverpaw blinked, realizing they were not ill-intended. He was still used to the cruelty of ThunderClan, kind teasing still caught him off-guard. He smiled. _This is what a real home feels like._

"Now, there is one more thing I must do. Grasskit, Mirekit, Poppykit, and Whisperkit, please step forward."

_So there is an apprentice ceremony!_

The four kits hurried forward in excitement, Mirekit leading the troop. Ashstar smiled down at them. "My kits, you have reached the age of six moons, and are therefor eligible to be apprenticed. Mirekit, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Mirepaw. Waterdrop, you will be mentor to Mirepaw. You received excellent training from Elmtail, may he rest in peace, and I expect you will pass on all you know to my daughter."

"I won't let you down, Ashstar!" Waterdrop purred, stepping forward to touch noses with Mirepaw, signifying their new bond as mentor and apprentice.

"Grasspaw, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Grasspaw. Your mentor shall be Squirreltail. Squirreltail, you were an excellent mentor to Barktooth, and I expect you will train Grasspaw just as well as you did before." Ashstar nodded to his warrior, who smiled in excitement and touched noses with the leader's only son.

Ashstar moved on. "Poppykit, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Poppypaw. Your mentor shall be Rookfang. Rookfang, you were my apprentice once, and I believe you will be an excellent mentor for Poppypaw." The pair touched noses, Rookfang looked just as excited as his new apprentice.

"And finally, Whisperkit." Ashstar smiled gently at his mute daughter. "Whisperkit, though you may have been taken in by us when we found you as a tiny kit, you are my daughter just as much as Poppypaw or Mirepaw. Though you may not be able to speak, you are still kind and loving. Until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Whisperpaw. Your mentor will be Mistleleaf. Mistleleaf, when you decided that the path of a medicine cat was not for you, I was uncertain of how well you would adjust. However, I believe I speak for all the clan when I say that you have far surpassed my expectations, and I believe you will be an excellent mentor to Whisperpaw."

As the two touched noses, the clan broke into cheers. "Grasspaw! Mirepaw! Poppypaw! Whisperpaw!"

Ashstar cleared his throat as the cheers died down. "Now, we will be departing shortly. Those of you who will be attending the Gathering, make sure you eat something. This is going to be a long night."

* * *

Silverpaw walked carefully across the fallen tree that connected the island to the shore, a ball of nerves growing in his stomach. Fuzzypaw was directly behind him, with Waterdrop in front. WindClan was waiting impatiently behind the remainder of ShadowClan, muttering in annoyance.

Despite Silverpaw being nine- almost ten- moons old by now, he had not yet been to a Gathering. _Skystar wouldn't want the sight of an abused apprentice soiling his great clan's name,_ Silverpaw thought with a quiet hiss.

The sight of all the clans gathered together was a bit overwhelming. There were so many cats. _Wow._ And then, he saw ThunderClan as he stepped foot on the island, and nearly threw up right then and there. He was frozen in place, body starting to shake. He couldn't breathe.

Pelts brushed against his. "Silverpaw!" Two voices chimed together. Yarrowpaw and Jumpaw swerved in front of him, blocking his view from ThunderClan. "Right this way!" They mewed loudly. "We're gonna introduce you to some friends in RiverClan and WindClan. Way over there!" They pressed against his sides, and led him off in a direction opposite ThunderClan. _StarClan bless Yarrowpaw and Jumppaw._ Silverpaw had a feeling that they had noticed his sudden terror.

After they were a fair distance away from the clan, they pulled away a bit. "Did you step on some ice?" Yarrowpaw asked.

"You looked like you were frozen in place!" Jumppaw laughed. "Anyway, no more standing around! We've got some cool cats to introduce you to."

They led Silverpaw to a group of apprentices that were chattering away happily, and called out when they noticed the approaching trio.

"Hey, Jumppaw!"

"What's up, Yarrowpaw?"

"Ooh, who's this?"

Jumppaw nudged Silverpaw forward while Yarrowpaw made the introductions. "Everyone, this is Silverpaw. I expect you to refer to him as _he,_ or I will kindly shove you straight into the bloody lake." Yarrowpaw flicked her tail at a dark brown tabby tom. "From WindClan, we have Trenchpaw, along with Birdpaw," she said, nodding at a pretty russet she-cat. "And our RiverClan friends here are Poppypaw, Hazelpaw, and Falconpaw," she motioned to a white she-cat, a pale ginger she-cat, and a gray tom as she named them off.

"So..." Falconpaw narrowed his eyes at Silverpaw, clearly confused. "What's her deal?"

With a nasty grin, Yarrowpaw shot forward, knocking Falconpaw off his paws and straight into the lake with a splash. "I warned you, fish-face!"

Silverpaw couldn't resist a laugh at Falconpaw's shocked face as he climbed out, soaked to the bone. "Hey!" He protested. "I was just asking what her deal was!"

Yarrowpaw sent him right back in the water a second time. "Get it right before I give you Greencough!"

Falconpaw, glaring, stomped away, only stopping to shake some of the water on Yarrowpaw, who stuck out her tongue.

Hazelpaw, Jumppaw, Trenchpaw, and Birdpaw fell into a fit of laughter. "His face was priceless!" Trenchpaw guffawed. "The arrogant rabbit-brain!"

Only Poppypaw looked upset. "Guys, there's a truce! No fighting is supposed to happen! You broke the warrior code, Yarrowpaw!"

Jumppaw snorted. "You can hardly call that a fight. It was more like pushing a thoughtless log into its rightful place!"

Hazelpaw frowned a bit. "Yeah, but... why _do_ you want to be called he?"

"Because that's what I am," Silverpaw sighed. "I'm a tom. I might not look like it, but I am."

Hazelpaw and Birdpaw exchanged a look. "Okay... whatever. We'll call you he."

_Even if they think it's stupid, at least they're not being rude,_ Silverpaw thought, smiling a little. Then a thought hit him hard. _Rainstorm. Is Rainstorm here? _"I-I'm going to go look for somebody," he mumbled, and before anyone could say anything, he turned and headed away, frantically scanning the crowd.

He was pushing his way through the crowd, until he tripped over someone's tail and nearly fell over. A ragged white tom turned towards him, a sharp, raspy voice meowing, "My bad, I do apologize..." He smiled nastily. "Silverpaw."

"Sk-Skystar." Silverpaw's eyes were wide with panic.

Skystar reached out with a heavy paw and stroked under Silverpaw's chin. "You've been a naughty girl, Silverpaw. I think it's time you came home with me. I have so been missing our... meetings."

Silverpaw was suddenly filled with an immense rage. "_Don't touch me!_" Silverpaw shrieked, and slammed his paw into Skystar's face, raking his claws against the tom's muzzle.

Skystar roared in anger. "I'll kill you for that!"

"Stop this!" A large russet tabby tom shoved them apart. "There is a truce! Skystar, I expect better of you, as leader of ThunderClan, and you!" He turned to glare at Silverpaw. "How dare you strike the ThunderClan leader! Have you no respect?"

Though a tiny voice inside him whispered he should stop now, all his bottled up anger was coming out, and there was no stopping it. "No, I don't!" He spat. "That disgusting cat had forced himself upon me so many times, and was trying to make another pass at me! I'm tired of letting him and all of ThunderClan walk all over me!"

"Reedstar, would you believe this wimpy apprentice over me?" Skystar hissed, staring dangerously at Silverpaw.

"Silverpaw?"

All three turned their heads to see a blue-gray warrior staring at Silverpaw with wide eyes. "Silverpaw! Are you okay?"

"Rainstorm," Silverpaw breathed. "It's you."

"What is this mess?" Another tom hissed, storming over. "The Gathering should have began by now!"

"That apprentice attacked me, Hickorystar!" Skystar spat.

"Look at the sky," Rainstorm snarled in response. They all looked up, to see the full moon shining on above, not a single trace of cloud near it. "StarClan agrees with Silverpaw." His voice shook with hatred for his leader.

"Interesting," Hickorystar growled. "I would love to hear about what the great Skystar did to deserve that. Now come on, we have a Gathering to start. Ashstar is already up there."

With a growl at Silverpaw, Skystar followed him, and after a moment, Reedstar did likewise.

As soon as they were gone, Silverpaw buried himself in Rainstorm's fur, breathing in his scent. "I've missed you so much," he choked out. "I'm sorry I left... it was selfish of me..."

"No," Rainstorm said quietly, drawing him even closer with a paw. "You needed to get away from Skystar. I understand. It's okay."

"Is Hawkpaw here?" He asked, hopefully.

Rainstorm closed his eyes. "...I'm sorry, Silverpaw."

Silverpaw pulled away slightly, confused. "What?"

"Hawkpaw..." He whispered. "Hawkpaw is dead."

Silverpaw went stone cold. "Wh-what?"

"Skystar killed him," Rainstorm growled, gritting his teeth. "In front of us all. He said that it was Hawkpaw's fault you left, and that he had to be punished for it. He's dead…"

Silverpaw let out a broken sob. "No matter what I do… someone always gets hurt…"

Rainstorm drew Silverpaw close again. "Its going to be okay."

"Let the Gathering begin!" They heard Reedstar yowl from the leader's tree.

Silverpaw stared blankly at the leaders, his heart torn into shreds. _Hawkpaw… you were the first cat who accepted me. You called me your brother. I'm so sorry._

"I will speak first, " Reedstar rumbled. "RiverClan is doing well. With Greenleaf setting in soon, we can expect that those silly twoleg kits will be back to play in the water. Sweetsnow has just moved into the nursery, expecting my kits." A bit of pride crept into his voice. "That is all."

He sat, and Hickorystar spoke up. "WindClan is also doing well! Limpfoot gave birth to three healthy kits, which we are all excited for. The prey is running, but we outrun them every time!" There was a ripple of amusement throughout the clans. "That's all for WindClan."

Ashstar opened his jaws to speak, but Skystar interrupted. "ShadowClan has stolen one of our apprentices!"

Shocked gasps met Skystar's words. Ashstar glared at Skystar, rage burning in his eyes. "What is the meaning of this, Ashstar?" Reedstar asked, clearly shocked.

"I can hardly call it stealing when he willingly came to us!" Ashstar declared. "Skystar had been abusing this apprentice, in the most horrible, disgusting ways. I saw this apprentice, starved and clearly mistreated, and I asked if he would come with us."

"He?" Skystar asked smoothly. "The only tom apprentice we have- had, was Hawkpaw. Who is this 'he' you speak of?"

"You know very well, Skystar!" Ashstar snarled. "This apprentice is named Silverpaw. He was born a she-cat, but calls himself a tom. Because of this, Skystar and a number of other toms abused him, bullying him, starving him, and even _raping_ him. Should I have stood by while this happened?"

The gasps of the clan turned into outraged yowls. Skystar's ears flattened against his skull. "You- you can't seriously believe this madness?" he demanded, looking to Reedstar and Hickorystar for support. They stared at him with anger and disgust in their eyes. "Who else abused the apprentice?" Reedstar snarled, shaking with rage. "_Who else?!" _

"Thornslash, Wavefall, and Hailclaw." Ashstar said, eyes narrowed. "Though we all know Thornslash is dead."

Reedstar let out a snarl. "Good riddance. I want you, Skystar, and your two warriors to leave. You are banished from the clans forever."

Skystar let out a laugh. "You can't make me leave. My warriors will continue to follow me. ThunderClan, we're leaving." He jumped down from the tree, his warriors gathering around him, somewhat fearfully.

"If you don't, we'll make you, Skystar!" Hickorystar yowled.

"Try it," Skystar smiled. "You know you can't."

And with that, ThunderClan was running across the log that separated them from the mainland. Rainstorm, however, stayed where he was. Hatred burned in his eyes. "I won't. I won't follow him anymore."

Silverpaw looked at the cat he loved, a bit of warmth coming back. Listening to that… it had scared him. The fact that Hawkpaw was just… gone. It was too much. But Rainstorm was staying with him. "Come with me," he breathed. "Come with me to ShadowClan."

Rainstorm smiled gently. "Of course, mouse-brain. Did you think I would become a kittypet?"

Ashstar let out a yowl to silence the remaining cats. "We should end the Gathering now. Dark times are ahead for the clans if Skystar remains in control."

Reedstar dipped his head to Ashstar. "I would like to meet with you in a few days time. To discuss this ordeal."

"Of course," Ashstar nodded. "Now, I'll take my leave." He leapt down from the tree. "ShadowClan, lets go!"

"Come on," Silverpaw said, standing. "I'll bring you to Ashstar."

As the three clans began to part, Silverpaw led Rainstorm to Ashstar. The gray tom turned and looked at them. "Oh? Who's this, Silverpaw?"

"My name is Rainstorm," the blue-gray tom dipped his head respectfully to the ShadowClan leader. "I can't stay in ThunderClan anymore. Not with Silverpaw here and with Skystar in control."

Ashstar nodded. "Of course. ShadowClan will be a refuge to any. Come with us, then."

Silverpaw felt his heart swell. _Hawkpaw is gone… but Rainstorm is here now. I have a home, and I have him._

* * *

**ALLEGIANCES**

**THUNDERCLAN**

**LEADER: **Skystar- _large, long-haired white tom with a ragged, messy pelt and icy blue eyes_

**DEPUTY: **Moonflash- _silver tabby she-cat with green eyes_

**MEDICINE CAT:** Spidernose- _white tom with thin black tabby stripes and amber eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Duckpaw**_

**WARRIORS:**

Kitewing- _reddish-brown tabby tom with brown paws, chest, and face, amber eyes_

Duskwater- _lean black she-cat with dark blue eyes_

Whiskertail- _pale gray tabby tom with a long, plumed tail and blue eyes_

Palelight- _very pale tan she-cat, almost cream, with green eyes_

Hollysprig- _deep russet she-cat with amber eyes_

Redstreak- _russet tom with bright green eyes_

Flinttooth- _dark gray tabby tom with long teeth that protrude from his maw, yellow eyes_

Juniperheart- _blue-gray she-cat with green eyes_

Graywind- _large, dark gray tabby tom with blue eyes_

Pidgeonwing- _white tom with thick gray stripes and a bushy tail, blue eyes_

Poolfern- _long-furred silver tabby she-cat with blue eyes_

Smokefang- _very dark gray tom with black patches, amber eyes_

Longwhisker- _cream tom with green eyes_

Wavefall- _blue-gray tom with yellow eyes_

Hailclaw- _long-furred gray tom, blue eyes_

Honeyleaf- _golden she-cat with green eyes_

**APPRENTICES:**

Duckpaw- _small, cream-colored she-cat with pale gray undercoat, green eyes_

**QUEENS:**

Rushstorm- _russet she-cat with a spiky pelt that sticks out at all angles, expecting Pidgeonwing's kits._

**ELDERS:**

Mossystone- _tortoiseshell she-cat with one green eye_

Sandflight- _pale ginger tabby tom with yellow eyes_

Goldenstalk- _golden she-cat with blue eyes_

**SHADOWCLAN**

**LEADER: **Ashstar- _slim, dark gray tom with blue eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Jumppaw**_

**DEPUTY:** Jaytooth- _dark blue-gray tom_

_**APPRENTICE- Firepaw**_

**MEDICINE CAT: **Beetlestorm- _blue-gray tom_

**WARRIORS:**

Squirreltail- _ginger she-cat with a bushy tail and green eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Grasspaw**_

Thistlefoot- _dark brown tabby tom with golden eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Yarrowpaw**_

Eaglecry- _very pale gray tom with darker tabby stripes, yellow eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Nightpaw**_

Mistleleaf- _messy-furred mottled gray she-cat with green eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Whisperpaw**_

Snowbreeze- _long-furred white she-cat with amber eyes, former loner_

_**APPRENTICE- Silverpaw**_

Rookfang- _black tom with bright green eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Poppypaw**_

Waterdrop- _small, blue-gray she-cat with yellow eyes_

Barktooth- _mottled brown tabby tom with amber eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Fuzzypaw**_

Rainstorm- _large, thick-pelted gray tom with blue eyes_

**APPRENTICES:**

Yarrowpaw- _dark gray she-cat with yellow eyes_

Jumppaw- _dark gray tabby tom with blue eyes_

Nightpaw- _black tom with amber eyes_

Firepaw- _fiery ginger she-cat with yellow eyes_

Fuzzypaw- _gray she-cat with a long, messy pelt that sticks out at angles and blue eyes_

Silverpaw- _silver tabby tom with bright blue eyes, formerly of ThunderClan_

Mirepaw- _long-furred dark gray she-cat with yellow eyes_

Grasspaw- _mottled brown tom with green eyes_

Poppypaw- _cream she-cat with green eyes_

Whisperpaw- _mute tortoiseshell and white she-kit_

**QUEENS:**

Ferretpounce- _brown she-cat with cream patches _

**ELDERS:**

Flaretail- _dark ginger tom with a thick, bushy tail and blue eyes_

Smokecloud- _black tom with yellow eyes_

**RIVERCLAN**

**LEADER:** Reedstar- _russet tom with yellow tabby stripes and yellow eyes_

**DEPUTY: **Flashclaw- _spiky-furred gray tom with yellow eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Falconpaw**_

**MEDICINE CAT: **Speckleberry- _golden she-cat with black spots, green eyes_

**WARRIORS:**

Ospreyheart- _white tom with light ginger patches and blue eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Hazelpaw**_

Lichenfire- _pale blue-gray tom with thick, messy fur and green eyes_

Rustlestep- _reddish-brown tom with a thick, ruffled pelt and amber eyes_

Vinetail- _pale gray tabby tom with bright green eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Cloudpaw**_

Splashfern- _white she-cat with black patches_

Hollowshell- _pale ginger tom_

Shoalshine- _cream she-cat with green eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Seedpaw**_

Burnhaze- _fiery ginger tom with blue eyes_

Shorttail- _cream tom with gray patches and a stunted tail, green eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Poppypaw**_

Frostwhisker- _long-furred white she-cat with yellow eyes_

Tidefall- _blue-gray tom with pale blue eyes_

**APPRENTICES:**

Hazelpaw- _pale ginger she-cat with green eyes_

Falconpaw- _gray tom with darker patches and green eyes_

Seedpaw- _white she-cat with ginger paws, blue eyes_

Cloudpaw- _white she-cat with gray paws, green eyes_

Poppypaw- _pale gray tabby she-cat with golden eyes_

**QUEENS:**

Sweetsnow- _pinkish-ginger long-haired she-cat with white patches_

**ELDERS:**

**None.**

**WINDCLAN**

**LEADER: **Hickorystar- _light brown tabby tom, green eyes_

**DEPUTY: **Lightfoot- _black she-cat with white legs_

**MEDICINE CAT: **Puddlenose- _long-furred dark gray tom with a stump of a tail_

_**APPRENTICE- Webpaw**_

**WARRIORS:**

Sunfeather- _dark ginger tabby she-cat with green eyes_

Heatherbloom- _light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes_

Buzzardswoop- _ragged dark gray tom with amber eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Badgerpaw**_

Adderstripe- _dark brown tom with a tabby-striped tail and yellow eyes_

Blossomtail- _tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with blue eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Trenchpaw**_

Cliffclaw- _long-limbed gray tom with white paws and green eyes_

Minkfur- _dusty-brown she-cat with a thick tail and amber eyes_

_**APPRENTICE- Birdpaw**_

Larkwing- _blue-gray she-cat with blue eyes_

Rabbitfoot- _brown tom with white patches and green eyes_

Stormwind- _long-furred blue-gray tom, green eyes_

**APPRENTICES:**

Badgerpaw- _black and white tom_

Trenchpaw- _dark brown tabby tom with shredded ears_

Birdpaw- _russet she-cat with green eyes_

Webpaw- _pale gray tabby she-cat with yellow eyes_

**QUEENS:**

Limpfoot- _pretty tortoiseshell she-cat with a crippled front paw, and amber eyes. Mother to Lightkit, a pale ginger tabby she-cat, Falconkit, a dusty-brown tom, and Tawnykit, a dark tortoiseshell she-cat._

**ELDERS:**

Tansycloud- _pale ginger tabby she-cat with pale green eyes_


	7. Important Announcement (Not an Update)

**Hey, everyone.**

**I'm going to be cleaning out a lot of my stories that I'm no longer writing- Due to a lack of motivation, ideas, writer's block, etc.**

**Some of my older ideas were less planned, or just aren't sticking as well with me as they were before. I do have a couple of ideas for future stories, but I'm still working those out.**

**The stories that are being deleted/discontinued are:**

**Betrayal (Which has already been deleted, considering rewrite.)**

**Darkness Rising**

**Here There Be Witches (Considering Rewrite.)**

**Fulfilling My Role as an Overprotective Brother!**

**Happy Endings Don't Exist (Considering Rewrite.)**

**I'm still undecided on whether or not I will be continuing Broken. Tom will be continued (along with Refuge, my newest story), but it will still have the slow pace it usually does.**

**I really am sorry if this disappoints anyone. I really have enjoyed writing them, but there's no real drive for me to continue them.**

**As I said, however, I am planning newer stories, which have more thought/planning I'm trying to put into them:**

**A rewrite of Misfits**

**A Redwall story (Which will be titled 'The Beekeeper')**

**One of those Warriors Rant-type things (I always thought they would be fun to do)**

**Considering doing a Redwall/Warriors type crossover**

**A possible Pokemon fic?**

**I have a couple other small ideas, but I'm still working on figuring them out.**

**I'm also just feeling very drained lately, I haven't been sleeping well (plus the melatonin I started taking gives me nightmares), and my cat just got diagnosed with cancer in his intestines/liver. I'm also probably not going to get to see my datemate (person I'm dating) tomorrow, which it being Valentine's Day, is a bit of a downer.**

**Once again, I'm really, really sorry if this upsets any of you.**

**~Hissing Willows out**


	8. Pebbledust (Yes, we're back!)

**A real update! At long last!**

**Once again, I'm so sorry for the ridiculous wait on this story. I never mean for it to get this far apart, but I get so caught up in other stories and it kinda just slips my mind.**

**But, as I said in the announcement, I have no intention of quitting! This story has become very dear to my heart, and all of your amazing reviews make me want to keep going forever. I've honestly been so amazed at how many people this story has personally touched. And while I'm at it- I want to thank you all for getting this story to 121 reviews! I've never had a story get this many reviews. So many of you have shared your own stories with me through reviews and my inbox, and it's really incredible to me. You're all fantastic!**

**Reviews**

**LedZeplin1969: Well, as said earlier, their sexualities aren't really labelled. Eaglecry and Barktooth are mates, but Silverpaw and Rainstorm could be gay, bi, pan, who knows. I don't feel the need to label them as anything.  
**

**walkswithwheels: My parents have been really bad about not taking me to a doctor about it, and the last time I went into get shots I talked about it and they only said to take melatonin for a month but it hasn't done much other than give me nightmares :/. So I kinda just stopped doing that. There's no point.**

**Guest: Haha, I actually wrote that _before_ I watched The Fault in Our Stars. So totally not an intention reference there. Just an overly cheesy bit of dialogue.**

**Azurazi Wolf: That's really great for him! I'm glad no one has treated him badly :).**

**King of Eli: Thanks so much!**

**Also, if any of you watch the 100 (And if you don't, you_ really really_ should), I'm currently writing a clexa fic that I think is pretty funny so far ;D. So, if you're also a 100 fan, please check it out!**

* * *

It had been five days since the fiasco that was the last Gathering.

Rainstorm was fitting in surprisingly well, and the clan was just as kind to him as they had been to Silverpaw when he first arrived.

Yarrowpaw, Jumppaw, and Fuzzypaw had received their warrior names- they were now Yarrowflight, Jumpfoot, and Fuzzyburr. It was good timing, too, seeing as Ashstar's kits had been made apprentices. The den was cramped, but there was a little more room now that the twins were sleeping with the rest of the warriors. Silverpaw missed the company- the twins' playful teasing but fierce support, and Fuzzyburr's constant upbeat personality- but he was getting along just fine with the new apprentices, and Nightpaw had become a very close friend in the short time.

Despite all this, the air was thick with tension.

ShadowClan knew Skystar would not leave them alone, and they were simply all waiting for what they knew was coming for them.

And on that fifth day, it came. ThunderClan had attacked.

"Find Silverpaw and Rainstorm!" Skystar yowled, leading his clan against the other. "I want them alive! _Kill_ anyone who gets in your way!"

Ashstar let out a screech. "ShadowClan! Fight them off! Protect Rainstorm and Silverpaw! We can't let ThunderClan take them!" He threw himself upon Skystar, and the two leaders rolled over and over- clawing and hissing and shrieking with rage.

Silverpaw watched in horror as his old clanmates poured in, attacking the ShadowClan warriors. His clan. His _family._ The cats he loved and cared so much for were going to die at his sake.

Rainstorm pressed against him. "We'll fight together," he hissed, pelt bushed up. "They won't take you back there- I will never let them harm you again!"

Silverpaw nodded, swallowing back his fear and letting himself be overcome with pure anger. ThunderClan- the clan that had abused him for so long: calling him worthless, disgusting, a mistake, and all manner of other insults, were now willing to fight so cruelly to take him back. _And all for what?_ He thought, unsheathing his claws and narrowing his eyes to slits. _So they can kick me and starve me and abuse me for the rest of my life? Never! _

"Silverpaw!" The young tom's eyes widened as he heard his mother's voice. "Silverpaw, come to your mother!"

Rainstorm let out a snarl as the pale she-cat stepped forward. She ignored the warrior and stared hopefully at her son. "Silverpaw, won't you come back to me?"

Rainstorm opened his jaws to speak, but Silverpaw pushed past him. _Today is the day I make a stand._ "No!" he spat, bristling. "You, my own mother, was willing to ignore me and pretend I didn't exist! You thought I was a _freak!_ You were so caught up in your own disgust that I could possibly consider myself something other than what I was 'supposed' to be, that you stood by and watched others harm me!" Silverpaw dug his claws into the grass, baring his teeth. "You let them starve me. You let them call me names and scratch me and step on my tail and kick me into the dust. You stood by and said _nothing_ to support me when I told the clan I had been _raped_ by Thornslash! Nothing!"

Palelight flinched, looking as though she had been struck. "I only want what's best for you. Can't you see that this delusion is unhealthy for you? You will never be a tom, Silverpaw. You are my _daughter_, a she-cat. You can bear kits and make milk like any other queen. You are undoubtedly a molly. I don't possibly see how you could, in the vaguest possible way, even _imagine_ yourself as a tom."

Silverpaw shook his head. "You're wrong!" he shouted, taking a step forward. "Just because you can't fathom it doesn't mean I'm not real. You can't force me to be something I have never wanted to be. Just leave! I'm happy here. If you really want what's best for me you would have never come here."

Palelight's face changed as her expression twisted into one of pure rage. She snarled, "How dare you. You're selfish! Hawkpaw died because you _selfishly_ left for ShadowClan. You just do this to hurt me because I will not let you continue playing make-believe!" She pounced, knocking Silverpaw down.

Silverpaw squirmed and let out a hiss as he felt his mother's claws rake his shoulder.

"Silverpaw!" Rainstorm cried, starting forward. Silverpaw twisted and stopped him with a glare. After a moment, Rainstorm nodded, but looked agitated. _This is my fight._

Silverpaw kicked suddenly, slamming his rear legs into Palelight's stomach and drawing blood. She screeched as she lost her hold and fell backwards. Silverpaw rolled into his paws and reared up, slashing with his forepaws at her face. He felt his claws score down the side of her face. "This is for abandoning me!" he screeched, shredding her ear. "This is for destroying my self-esteem!" his claws grazed her cheek. Palelight didn't even retaliate at this point; she just stood there while he struck blow after blow. "This is for refusing to accept me! For treating me like dirt! For never loving me!"

Silverpaw stepped back, panting heavily. His mother looked utterly defeated, both mentally and physically. Her face, chest, and shoulders were riddled with cuts from Silverpaw's attack. When her eyes met his, they were devoid of any fight or anger. "I could have done better," she murmured. "But I didn't."

"Leave," Silverpaw hissed. "And don't come back."

He almost expected her to refuse, but Palelight only nodded dejectedly and turned away. She stopped for a moment. "Skystar killed Graywind, too. I lost everything because of you." With that, she continued on, until she had left the camp.

Silverpaw stumbled back. _No._ "Graywind... my father..."

Rainstorm pressed against him, shaking with anger. "I'll kill him," he swore. "I'm going to spread his entrails from here to the old forest. Skystar has done too much-"

"Retreat!"

Silverpaw looked up bleakly as Skystar's yowl pierced the air. A clump of fur was missing from his shoulder, while Ashstar was sporting a gash down his side. "You may have won this time," he spat, "But I _will_ have my cats back, even if means murdering everyone down to the last elder in this damn clan." he whipped around and raced off, the last of his warriors quick on his heels.

Ashstar was panting heavily. "They're gone," he growled. "But they'll be back. Beetlestorm, take care of the gravely injured first. Jaytooth, get anyone that is fit to help him and send them his way." He looked around. "Are- are there any casualties?"

Rookfang looked up sadly from a limp form beside him. "I'm so sorry," he said hoarsely. "They got Poppypaw."

Ashstar's eyes widened with horror. He raced to Rookfang's side. "No!" he cried, nudging his daughter. His mate, Ferretpounce, came forward, trembling.

"Ashstar!" Grasspaw cried. "Whisperpaw is gone!"

"They killed her too!" Ferretpounce let out a wail. "My kits!"

"No!" Grasspaw shook his pelt, eyes wide. "They _took_ her! She's gone! I saw a warrior dragging her during the battle, but I didn't realise they got out with her!"

Ashstar's eyes narrowed and he let out a snarl. "I'm going to _destroy _Skystar!" he declared, looking murderous. Silverpaw had never seen him this enraged before. "He has gone too far!"

Jaytooth padded forward and laid his tail on Ashstar's shoulder. "I know this is horrible," he tried to reason. "But look at our clan. There's nothing we can do- not today."

Ashstar looked around bleakly. They struck like lightning- fast and vicious. They may not have been there long, but they held no honor in the battle. No cat was without wounds, and at least half of them would need to be treated quickly.

Silverpaw hung his head, fighting back tears. Because of him, poor Whisperpaw was now in Skystar's clutches. Who knew what the evil tom would do to her? Whisperpaw could not speak for herself.

Rainstorm murmured in Silverpaw's ear. "I know you're worried," he murmured. "But we can't do anything. And you need to get your shoulder checked. She got you pretty good."

"Skystar has taken everything," Silverpaw whispered. "My brother, my father, my dignity, and now, he's hurting everyone I care about."

Rainstorm pressed his muzzle to Silverpaw. "I know," he said. "And I'm so sorry. You never deserved any of this."

"They're right," Silverpaw hissed, half to himself. "I _am_ a freak. I'm worthless."

"Don't say that!" Rainstorm snapped, bristling. "You are _not_ a freak! You might be different from most cats, but that does not mean you are freakish or worthless or any of the horrid things they've called you. It doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy. You've had it harder than most, but you have to keep _trying, _Silverpaw. You're better than all of them. You can't give up. Because then they win." he smiled gently, eyes filled with warmth. "But more than that, because you owe it to yourself. You've tortured yourself with the guilt of what everyone has done to you, but you deserve so much better. Silverpaw, I _love_ you."

Silverpaw stared up at Rainstorm, eyes wide. "I-"

Then everything started to spin, and before Silverpaw knew what was happening, the ground came up to collide with his head and everything went dark as his clanmates let out yowls of surprise.

* * *

Silverpaw found himself in a starlit forest. _Is this StarClan? Am I dead?_ "Hello?" he called out, looking around frantically. "Is anyone there? Please, I'm lost!"

A cat, one with a pelt of starlight, came forward from the undergrowth. "Welcome, Silverpaw," she said. She was a tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat, and her eyes held great wisdom.

"Am I dead?" Silverpaw asked, flattening his ears.

"Peace, little one," she said. "You are still among the living, but just so."

"What happened?" he asked. "I remember ThunderClan attacking and Rainstorm and then I just... fell."

The StarClan warrior sighed. "Even I cannot tell," she said quietly. "My sight has been clouded of late. You are facing a great struggle, that is all I can say."

"I don't understand," Silverpaw protested. "Am I sick? Did I lose blood?"

The she-cat shook her head. "Answers will come," she said. "But for now, welcome. My name is Lilystar. I was leader before Skystar. He... he has brought a terrible evil to my clan. He was never like this, not as my deputy." Lilystar smiled woefully. "I must apologize. For one so young, you have suffered so much. Come with me, Silverpaw. You'll be safe here until your body has healed."

Lilystar turned and started to pad away through the beautiful forest. Silverpaw blinked and had to hurry to catch up to her. "I still don't understand," he said. "Why am I here if I am alive?"

Lilystar gave him a soft smile. "You're at death's door, Silverpaw, but more than that, you have seen and suffered too much. We can see you breaking down. Your mind and body both need rest, and you yet have such a long and difficult path ahead of you."

Silverpaw felt as though there were many watching him, though even when he looked around, no one was there. "Are we alone? Is someone else out there?"

"There are many here," Lilystar said, whiskers twitching in amusement. "Many StarClan warriors have watched over you, Silverpaw. You are... an intriguing cat, I suppose." She stopped in another small clearing, and raised her head. "Begone," she ordered loudly, and Silverpaw knew she was not speaking to him. "This young one must rest."

There was some rustling that grew distant, though one tom stepped forward from the bushes. "Is this the one?" he asked, whiskers trembling. "Is he?"

_He._ Silverpaw stared at the small gray tom. He looked more like an apprentice, and was a very young warrior at the most.

Lilystar smiled. "Yes, Pebbledust, this is Silverpaw."

Pebbledust's worried look changed to a wide, joyful grin. "I'm glad to meet you," he purred. "I'm glad I'm not alone."

Lilystar flicked her tail. "I know you've wanted to meet Silverpaw," she said, "But he must rest. He is not ready to join our ranks quite yet."

Pebbledust nodded, though seemed disappointed. He raised his tail in farewell. "Good luck, Silverpaw," he smiled. "May your fortune be better than mine." he turned and bounded off.

Silverpaw looked up at Lilystar, a little confused by the interaction. "What did he mean by that? 'I'm glad I'm not alone?'"

Lilystar looked back to where Pebbledust had disappeared. "Pebbledust was like you," she said. "Born a she-cat."

Silverpaw's eyes widened. "So- you mean... I'm not- I mean, I'm not... alone? I'm not broken?"

Lilystar laughed. "StarClan, no! We are by no means disappointed in you, Silverpaw. Why should we be? You are what you are, as Pebbledust is what he is." She rested her tail on Silverpaw's shoulder. "Sleep, now."

At her touch, he felt all his energy drain from him. Silverpaw nodded drowsily and laid down in the soft grass. "Lilystar?" he murmured. "How- how did he die? Pebbledust?"

Lilystar looked away, closing her eyes. "Silverpaw," she said quietly. "Pebbledust is Skystar's brother. Skystar murdered him after he received his warrior name. I did not know until after I passed."

Silverpaw wanted to say more, to ask more, to know more, but again, his vision grew dark as he sank into sleep.

* * *

_Among the living._

"Tell me what's wrong!" Rainstorm demanded. "Why won't you let me see him? What happened to Silverpaw?!"

Beetlestorm stood firmly in Rainstorm's way. "Rainstorm," he said gently. "Silverpaw was expecting kits. I don't know how in StarClan's name we never noticed- most likely because of how skinny he was. I thought he was gaining weight from eating normally."

"What do you mean, _was?_" Rainstorm growled. "Did... did Silverpaw give birth?"

Beetlestorm shook his head. "No, he's lost them. Miscarriage. After I brought Silverpaw back to my den, he started to lose a lot of blood. He nearly died. He's still asleep, but his breathing is getting better." The medicine cat sighed heavily. "The poor thing has been through so much. I suspect they were Skystar's, unless...?"

Rainstorm shook his head. "They couldn't have been mine." his eyes were filled with disgust and anger. "Skystar deserved to be slaughtered for what he's done. When can I see Silverpaw?"

"As soon as he wakes, I'll get you," Beetlestorm promised. "Even if it's moonhigh."

A groan of pain startled both of them. Rainstorm perked his ears. "Silverpaw?"

Beetlestorm looked worried. "Stay here!" he turned around and rushed inside. A minute passed before he cried out, "He's awake! Silverpaw is alive!"

Rainstorm practically threw himself into the den, eyes wide. Inside, he saw Silverpaw, a huddled, weakened thing that resembled too much the shivering cat he found in ThunderClan's apprentice den moons ago. "Silverpaw, it's me."

Silverpaw's eyelids flickered, and he managed a small smile. "I'm not leaving yet," he whispered. His breathing slowed, and it sounded as though he had fallen asleep again.

Rainstorm looked at Beetlestorm fearfully. "Is he alright?"

Beetlestorm was smiling. "He's still very weak, but yes, Silverpaw is going to be just fine."


End file.
